Hiding your true feelings about how your partner is treating you likely prolongs the unfulfilling relationship, rather than saves it, according to Wadley.
And the argument that ensues can wind up being more damaging to the relationship than it would have been if you had addressed it sooner. “Then something happens that breaks the camel’s back,” she says. Instead of speaking up, they suppress how they feel, continue on with their dissatisfaction and feign contentment out of fear of feeling like a burden. “People may think, ‘That’s going to make me sound needy and emotional,’” says Wadley. But Wadley says open lines of communication are essential to lasting, healthy partnerships. It’s natural to feel uncomfortable talking to your partner about what you need and may not be getting from your relationship. You’re scared to ask for more from your partner If either you or your partner is seeking emotional or physical fulfillment from people outside of your relationship, Wadley says it’s a clear indication that it’s probably time to end the relationship. “If you’re like, ‘I have a choice between talking to my boyfriend and talking to my guy friend, the guy who is constantly giving you that emotional affirmation that I need - I’m going with the friend,’” Wadley says, “Something’s not right.” It’s great to have trusted colleagues at work, but Wadley says if you’re constantly turning to a “work husband” or “work wife” for support, it may be a sign that you’re not getting the support you need from your partner. When you get promoted at work or you’re faced with a family emergency, who is the first person you want to tell? In a fulfilling, healthy relationship, the answer to those questions should be your partner, according to Wadley. “You could be taking that time to find someone who will give you what you need,” she says.
But Wadley says that mentality wastes valuable time and perpetuates a person’s unhappiness. It may seem like if they leave the relationship, they may never find something better. One of the reasons people stay in relationships that don’t meet their needs stems from the negative views our society has about being single, according to Wadley. If that person’s partner isn’t willing to try harder to fulfill that need, it’s probably time to move on, she says. When one partner feels that the other isn’t fulfilling a requirement, Wadley says, it’s important to communicate that. These needs can be emotional, like wanting quality time with your partner, or functional, like requiring them to competently manage money. Here, experts explain some of the signs that indicate it may be time to let go: Your needs aren’t being metĮvery person has different “requirements” that need to be met in a relationship, according to Wadley. While being in love undoubtedly feels good (and is good for your health,) these feelings alone don’t spur solid, lasting romantic relationships.
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